Jane the Destroyer

I feel like leaning my head out the window and screaming, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!".  Or is it "It's my money and I want it now!" Either one would work fine.

That's not what Jane's thinking. She's looking out the window and thinking, "The world is my oyster, man. I gotta get out there!"

I'm just going relay a little taste of the insanity that has become my daily life with Jane. Jane (bless her heart) has turned two. Over the past week, Jane has:

• broken my favorite mug, a dinner plate, a salad plate, and my favorite platter from grandma. 
  
• dumped out my wood floor cleaner into a huge puddle and sat in it (nice - I smell like oranges)
  
• pulled out Ed's beloved records from the cabinet and emptied many of them from their sleeves (I want daddy.... oh, here he comes!)
  
• has discovered how to climb up on the kitchen table. I left the room and returned to find her sitting on the laptop (feel the power of the internet!)
  
• has repeated tried to order AOL by reaching up and typing random keys on my desktop keyboard (it's a conspiracy!)
  
• learned that pulling random unseen items off the kitchen table is fun and exciting (what could it be? ketchup? mom's camera? a steak knife?)
• emptied out a laundry basked full of folded clothes
  
• ripped pages out of my scriptures
  
• ruined a half a box of Tampax by unwrapping them, disassembling them, and either chewing on them or dropping them in the toilet.
  

I needed to take a shower, but not wanting to risk another broken plate or injured child, I decided she could have a bath whilst I have a shower (we have a separate bath). 

During my shower she:

• emptied the shampoo bottle into the tub
  
• poured a cup of water onto the bathroom floor, and
  
• unrolled the roll of toiletpaper into the tub (and ate some, for good measure)
  

This newfound sense of adventure comes with a price. Jane has also:

• fallen off the step stool at least 3 times in the last week. The last time she gave herself a bloody nose
  
• pulled a small (nearly empty - don't call child protective services!) end table dresser onto her herself and cut her upper lip
  
• fallen down the stairs
  
• fallen off then kitchen chairs
  

In addition, here are some regular activities she does at least 3-4 times a day:

• "rearrange" our cd collection (love the clackety clack sound!)
  
• crawl over to the open dishwasher (hurry! it's still open!) and pull out the dirty cutlery to see if she can find any snacks.
  
• emptied out the newspaper recycle basket (ahhh, tearing paper...)
  
• empties out any cupboard, closet, purse, wallet, shoe basket, toy box, or sack. (I just love chewing on my mom's mp3 player!)
• play drums with all of my plastic bowls and storage containers
  
• wreak havoc with the television buttons (I know how to get mom off the couch!)
  
• rubs her eyes and hair every time I happen to feed her something containing tomato sauce (how else am I supposed to get in the bath and make a mess?)
  
  
• wakes up and cries the moment I put her in bed (must get into mom's bed, must get into mom's bed....)

It's a good thing Jane is just about the sweetest, mildest, cutest child you'll ever see on the face of this earth. I love you Jane, more than you'll ever know, but I'm so tired.

All the World's a Stage. I Need an Intermission.

Emma's been rehearsing long hours for the school musical Doo Wop Wed Widing Hood. The performance was a few nights ago and it was amazing. It was quite a site to see dozens of grade-school kids singing and dancing to some great choreography, to say nothing of the funny script.

Emma's role was a narrator, but she has a lot of lines and actually controlled the action with a fake "remote control". I'm so proud of Emma, who definitely has the "performance" gene from Ed's side of the family.

Emma also played her last Jr. Jazz basketball game last weekend. She has come so far and is a good competitor. (That must be from my side of the family. Rip her head off, Emma!) Her team won a majority of their games and did a great job on their last game.

(Would have won if the other team hadn't, well, cheated. It's so funny how all is fine and well until the mean girl from the other team starts getting rough and breaking rules and then the mommy bear claws come out and I start making plans to run them down in the parking lot in my white minivan. Glad to get that off my chest. I'm okay now.)

In the mean time, Ed and Beth had a daddy-daughter excursion to a U of U basketball game. They had a great time and we even won. Go Utes! 

Beth has also been swimming hard in the swim team's "pre-comp" program, which is like swim team with training wheels. Hopefully she'll get to participate in a swim meet soon, as she's anxious to start bringing home some ribbons. (That's my girl!)

Jane is doing great, and has decided that crawling is easier that walking. So while she can take steps, she needs to get a bit more confidence in herself before she starts walking all of the time. She also started a new "Play & Learn" preschool that is run through an early intervention program. So she gets to "play & learn" while mommy "shops & showers". It's a great arrangement.

See Jane Walk

Jane has started to take her first steps, and we are so happy that she is learning and growing, however gradual it may seem. Learning to walk, like many things with Jane, has been an excruciatingly slow process, but we are so excited to see these little steps. We know it won't be long before they are big steps, and then she will walk, and then someday she will run, and then... who knows? Go, Jane, go!

We are so grateful to Shriners Hospital, DDI Early Intervention, and all the friends and family who have been so caring for Jane. We are extraordinarily blessed. 

Sorry about the sideways shot. Try not to get dizzy.

On a side note, my niece Amanda got married this week to a great guy. I can't tell you how happy I am for Amanda and Jonathan. Tomorrow they are off to Ecuador on a humanitarian endeavor for five months. What a meaningful honeymoon. I wish them the best of luck and feel so fortunate that we have such loving, generous family. We had a fun bachelorette party at Laura's, where we sang Karaoke, told dirty jokes, and played games. What else are Mormons supposed to do?

Hannah, Emily, Amanda, Jerrea.

Congratulations Leah and Alex!

Congratulations to our Leah on her marriage today. We are so happy for you, and wish you all the best.

Happy Birthday Jane, etc.

Here's a few random pictures of the festivities of the last few weeks. It was Jane's birthday and we celebrated by attending a family reunion and bringing an embarrasingly large Costco cake. Jane's favorite thing lately is to play with everyone's ears. Here she is on her birthday playing with Ed's lovely ears.

Here's a great picture Emma took of Jane and me. She entered into the school Reflections contest. It's titled "Mom's Hands".

The girls have had a fun time spending a little Christmas money sent over by her grandparents and Uncle Wayne. Here's the outfit Beth picked out. She's quite fashionable!

Here's Emma having a nice cuddle with Jane before bedtime.

Lastly, as we are on our new year's diets we can look back fondly to the cookie-baking days of December. Oh how we miss you!

Happy Birthday, Emma

Happy Birthday, Emma. My first child, my only brunette and my only drug-free labor! I hope you have a great year. Nine years old is a great age. If I could be any age again, it would probably be nine.

The Top Ten Reasons I Love Emma

1. She does spontaneous cartwheels and handstands.

2. She still likes me (I know, give it a few years.)

3. She is Jane and Beth's protector and defender.

4. She is dang smart and works hard in school.

5. She helps me in the kitchen.

6. She is sensitive to others' needs and feelings.

7. She is sensitive to the Spirit and is spiritual beyond her years.

8. She is kind to others.

9. She has a great sense of humor, a great laugh, and a beautiful smile.

10. She is responsible.

And then there's this conversation, lying next to Emma at bedtime:

Me: Did you have fun at family night?

Emma: Sure. But we didn't have dinner all together, and I hate that, and then at Target we didn't even shop together.

Me: Well, nobody was hungry at the same time, and we just had lefovers, remember?

Emma: Yeah.

Me: And we were buying presents for each other so we had to split up, right?

Emma: I guess.

Me: Sometimes we try but things don't always turn out perfect. I wish I was the perfect mom but I'm not.

Emma: But you're the perfect mom for me.

Me: [I say nothing. I just smile in the dark.]

Happy Birthday to You (cha-cha-cha!) (To see what this cake put me through, see the food blog.)

Shirts from Justice for Girls. Whoot!

A basketball from grandma and grandpa! And a great card and gift from Grandma Freda and Grandad Jim!

Emma Song Peformance and Beth's Head Staple (family activites in the digital age)

Emma's third grade class performed a song "I Can Make a Difference" during an assembly, and being the dutiful mother that I am, fought my way to the front of the gym, whipped out my camera and did the shaky hand-cam recording. First row, second from left, there she is singing her heart out. Emma is a talented and enthusiastic singer!

Semi-related rant: How has blogging and the digital age changed the way you enjoy (or stress over) family activities? I wonder how our kids will feel never getting to see our proud, relaxed faces during such activities - only us jostling for the right camera angle with cell phones and cameras pressed to our faces. how do you feel about those who arrive early to save the first three rows of seats for all members of their extended family and set up two tripods from two different angles to catch the action. Are you one of them? Whether we bake a cake, see Santa, play a soccer game or have a piano recital, did it really happen if we didn't record it in some way?

I remember when Emma "graduated" from preschool. We were of course clueless and poor and had no cameras or recorders. When she got her diploma, we clapped and smiled, and felt stupid. But I still remember it and part of me wishes all activities could be like that: just clap, smile, and enjoy the moment.

Oh, and speaking of recording triumph and tradgedy, here's Beth's head staple after cutting her head on the wall. After getting her staple Beth asks, "are you going to blog my staple?" Yes, I'm guilty folks, of everying above (except for the tripods and seat saving. Seat savers make me grouchy!).